Life is full of little decisions. Scrambled or over easy? Crispy or rubbery? French toast or pancakes? Or maybe waffles!? As you can probably tell, I didn’t have breakfast this morning. I woke up late for work, missed my bus and didn’t have time to stuff any delicious treats down my face hole, and now I’m kind of on a breakfast food thing for the day. It happens, but I digress. Life throws choices at you all the time. Endless options that you must pick between in order to progress through the day. It’s kind of like a big live-action RPG where you’re playing the role of yourself and the side-quest is to keep yourself alive. The main quest? Booty! Always booty!
In this rough and tumble situation, we can all use a little guidance from time to time. Thus, I present to you 19 role models who clearly have everything all figured out!
1. Ride for the pussy, die for the pussy!
2. But friendship is importantest!
3. The most intense moment of Independence Day was when Boomer was running from the explosion!
4. It’s the closest thing to a post-apocalyptic dystopia that we’ve created since he went underground!
5. No worries, bud, there’s always Craigslist for that!
6. When you know you got your man on lock and don’t need no bouquet!